Teens often like to lead the way by helping moms speak up and feel heard on issues that interest them at school. Then share your views in ways that contrast and compare fun differences. Love and meaning reach across intersections of different views whenever mother and child share strengths as a way to build forward together.
Luckily the brain changes and grows new dendrite cell connections with each action taken in the direction of progress here! Join our Brain Based Circles! Would love to meet you at any of the following! However, if this grief reaction persists, it may be helpful to seek professional counseling.
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Be sure the counselor chosen is knowledgeable about ADD and the grief and loss process. This cannot be accomplished if you focus all of your energies on your child. Involvement in career, hobbies, personal interest, friends, etc. You have a child that can be very difficult and challenging to raise. We do not want our children behaving inappropriately because they have ADD.
They are capable of learning. It takes more consistent reinforcement. ADD is not a new problem. It just had different names or was not being given any names in the past. Today, we know that utilizing behavior management techniques, medication, counseling, educational modification, or a combination of some of these approaches at appropriate times enables many children with ADD to do very well. The earlier one is able to identify a child as having ADD and provide positive intervention, the more hopeful one tends to feel.
Regardless of the age when ADD is diagnosed, however, it is important to remember that both parents and children try to do the best they can. Even though parents may attempt to provide everything possible to help their child, they cannot control the outcome of his life. It is imperative, however, during the preschool, elementary, and middle school years that parents do everything they can in advocating for school success.
This may even be at the criticism of teachers and administrators who insist that a child "take responsibility for their own actions.
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- Coping with ADD: A Mother's Point of View?
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- Every Life Matters: A Mother's Point of View | HuffPost Life;
Ultimately, a person has to accept responsibility for himself, but for children with ADD, this may come much later than their same- aged peers. Focus on your child's strengths. Some doctors run clinics just for the purpose of keeping people pain free. They have a license to create addicts.
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Matt was one of their victims. I felt the pain of giving him life and I need to feel this pain of losing his life. This pain is part of who I've become and there is no covering it up. We aren't allowed to be in mourning. People aren't comfortable when you cry in their presence. No one wants to hear your story, even though saying it out loud makes you feel like maybe you did do everything in your power to help your addict.
Reliving the horror is a way of coping, knowing you went through such a hell and are still breathing is a powerful thing for us moms. Society wants you to get over it.
Hey, my son is dead. I'm allowed to be sad. It's a way to cope. Some days are better than others. Some days, I can get through the day without too many "Matt Moments," where a memory hits hard and the tears start. People don't want to hear about your dead son. They are afraid the pain you live with will invade their world and they will become you—like addiction is catchy and you are the carrier. I don't expect anyone to fix me.
I know there is nothing anyone can say to make this better. Every day is a challenge. I know people mean well but there are days when someone will call and offer advice. Now I haven't heard from or seen some people for months but they are just so full of great suggestions. Really, your children are alive, you have no clue.
Why can't people just call without an agenda to make me feel better? Just say you care, you're thinking of me. That's what I need. Not the "you should be Yes, you're right, I should be working, eating more, having fun.
Looking Back Through Tears: A Mother's Point of View on Addiction
My mind turns ugly as I think you have no clue of the struggle it is to cope with my reality. My son should be alive. Throughout my journey, I have found many blessings. There are mothers, like me, who sadly get it. We have a support system that not one of us signed up for, but we are joined together by grief. These strong women who started the journey before me have listened while I screamed, cried and told the same story over and over. They do not judge or tell me what I should be doing. They listen, they shed their tears with mine.
We have a bond that will never fade. We have experienced the heartbreaking, life-shattering death of a child. I never knew these women existed. They knew nothing about me. Yet, I feel a closeness to them I can't explain. I want to comfort them when they cry out on the birthdays that have ceased to be.
Coping: A Mother's Point of View | The Fix
When they have the gut punches that only profound grief can bring. Holidays come and break our hearts again. Together, we hold each other up. This journey has shown me who my true friends are. The women who admit they can't imagine my pain, but aren't afraid to hold me when I cry and just show up on rough days. I believe God put him in my life knowing Matt would be leaving me. He is my rock.
I was a smart girl; a critical care nurse who made great money. We had a great life. No money worries for us. Today, I have no job, my smart girl brain lost in this world of grief. Mike, my firstborn, Matt's big brother. The inseparable boys until the demon came between them. Always there when I need him.
We cry together, his only sibling gone. He shares my grief. He reassures me when the guilt seeps into my brain and I second guess every decision made during Matt's addiction. He is my voice of reason. He lived the nightmare of his brother's addiction. Comfort comes in all shapes and sizes of furry bodies and paws. My pups, all rescued, have returned the favor and rescue me every day.
No judgment when the tears are falling, just four pairs of knowing eyes all running to cuddle. Sensing my pain and instinctively knowing how to comfort. We take long walks, they give me a purpose.