Unfortunately, passive-aggression is what many people resort to, to their own detriment. What does passive aggression look like? When model Christy Teigen went out on a dinner date with her husband John Legend shortly after having a baby, she was attacked by her followers as being a bad mother. Some tweets were directly aggressive, others were passive aggressive.
What you see is what you get. There are no nuances. Other cultures are more indirect. French communication style can be passive-aggressiveness. In the Southern or Midwestern part of the US, propriety is valued over directness. Neither leads to the constructive results you want.
6 Ways to Express Anger Effectively
Clearly, you are angry. But both your aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior will drive people farther away from you. This is when you need to bring in a very helpful emotion: Become curious as to why the other person is acting a certain way. Keep an anger journal. You can track the degree to which they anger you, and what else was happening at the time.
What provoked the anger? What thoughts occurred as you got angry? How did you react? How did others react to you? What was your mood right before it happened? What symptoms of anger did you feel in your body? Did you want to leave, or act out such as bang the door or hit something or someone , or did you say something sarcastic? What were your emotions immediately after the incident? What were your feelings a few hours after the episode? Was the episode resolved? Keeping track of this information will help you learn what situations and triggers you have to your anger. Then you can work to avoid those situations when possible, or predict when these situations occur if they are unavoidable.
It will also help you track the progress you make at handling situations that anger you. Identify your anger triggers.
A trigger is something that happens or that you experience that brings on an emotion or a memory. Some common triggers for anger are: Not being able to control daily life events, such as traffic. Someone trying to manipulate you. Getting mad at yourself for a mistake. Understand the impact of your anger.
Anger Work: How to Express Your Anger and Still Be Kind - Robert E. Puff - Google Книги
Anger can become a big problem if your anger causes you to act aggressively towards other people. When anger is a constant reaction to everyday events and to the people around you, you can lose enjoyment and enrichment in our lives. Anger can interfere with your job, your relationships, and your social life. You can be incarcerated if you assault another person.
Anger can make people feel entitled to the point where they can rationalize reasons to act in a socially irresponsible way. People who experience road rage, for instance, might feel justified when they run someone off the road because that person mistakenly cut them off. Understand the root of your anger. Some people use anger to avoid dealing with painful emotions. They get a temporary boost to their self-esteem.
This also happens with people who have a really good reason to be angry. This is because anger is easier to deal with than pain. It can make you feel more in control. In this way, anger becomes a chronic way of dealing with feelings of vulnerability and fear. Many times, our automatic reaction to incidences have to do with the painful memories of our past.
Your automatic anger reactions could be something you learned from a parent or caregiver. If you had a parent who got angry about everything and one parent who tried to keep that parent from getting angry, you have two models of dealing with anger: Both of these models are counterproductive to dealing with anger. If you were a victim of child abuse and neglect, for example, you had a model of dealing with anger that is counterproductive aggressive.
It's important to seek professional help for life traumas such as child abuse and neglect. Sometimes a person can re-traumatize himself without intending to by revisiting painful memories without the support of a clinician. Avoid expressing your anger passively. Instead, your wish to get even comes out in other ways. Avoid expressing your anger aggressively. Aggressive anger expressions are most problematic because of the possibility of violence and negative consequences for failure to control angry outbursts.
This can interfere with everyday functioning if anger happens every day and is out of control. Choose to express your anger assertively. Assertive expression of anger is the most constructive way to express your anger. Assertiveness cultivates mutual respect for each other. You have mutual respect for each other.
To communicate assertively, give the facts without making accusations. Simply state how the action made you feel. Stick to what you know and not what you think you know. Then ask the other person if he is willing to talk. Can we talk and work this out? Identify the emotions that you feel. Talk about your own feelings without placing judgement on the other person. For example, you might say: Instead of blaming the other person for doing something that makes you feel bad, focus on your own feelings.
Keep judgment statements out of it. Stick to things that pertain to you. You are not alone. Dylan Bennett Hours of Sudoku puzzles to enjoy! Makes a perfect gift for birthdays, holidays, or just to relax. Enjoy these easy-to-read puzzles anytime, anywhere! Aziz Gazipura In this book, Dr.
Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the authentic you. Ryan James Discover the most important skill for building successful personal and business relationships and achieving happiness in life Thibaut Meurisse A practical guide to stop worrying, relieve stress, overcome anxiety, and create more joy in your life.
When you click on a Sponsored Product ad, you will be taken to an Amazon detail page where you can learn more about the product and purchase it. To learn more about Amazon Sponsored Products, click here. Puff gave solid, practical ways to deal with anger in our daily lives. Puff's insight into human nature and his ability to move forward with our lives was useful to all. Puff's work is helping people move forward.
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He's giving them tools to improve their own lives. Puff received his first masters degree at Princeton, then went on to Fuller to earn his second masters degree and Ph. Later he taught as an adjunct professor at Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology. He maintains a private practice in Southern California.
In his practice he works with adults, adolescents, and children as young as two years old. Puff teaches his clients to tap into and utilize their anger to manage stress and heal from traumatic experiences. He has been successfully helping individuals and families for over 15 years. He wants to spread the message that you can learn to be kind in all situations, even when your angry.
If you do this you will enrich not only your own life, but the lives of those around you as well. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Learn more about Amazon Prime. Puff explains why it is detrimental to your own emotional well-being to take out your anger on others through verbal abuse or unkind actions. Puff shares the highly effective techniques of Anger Work he has used for over 15 years to help clients with: Read more Read less.
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