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Then we start to question ourselves how to love yourself and suffer because we do not have a significant other, and we do not have an idyllic family with kids yet. These models have been forced on us, and if we do not meet these expectations, we are losers and failures in love. We never ask ourselves are we ready, is it okay if romance is not our priority, can we just live happily without following the babies and marriage trend?

Instead of pushing things and suffering, we better concentrate on building the relationship with ourselves. The partners in our lives are not there to fulfill every single expectation and need we have because we can do that perfectly on our own. Tending to our own feelings, you will realize how to love yourself and other people simultaneously as long as everything is balanced. Harmony and balance are the keys to a lasting relationship. And both start from us. No pushing, no forcing, no blaming.

30 Day SELF LOVE Challenge ~ Create Miracles in Your Life

Sometimes we just need time to breathe, heal and reconnect with ourselves. If you allow to loving yourself you will realize what we deserve; we will create our own definition of love. Loving yourself is not egoistic, on the contrary, the better you know yourself and the more love you have, more will come to you, because love comes to the happy and peaceful souls. It is not true that we cannot have it all!

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We can, but everything has its own time and every one of us has their own journey. Our society is obsessed with beauty. Everybody is trying to define it and impose it on others. You start associating attractiveness with happiness. If you do not look like a model, you cannot be happy or loved. Your personal value should not be defined by the way you look. The people who truly love you do not care about your skin or hairstyle.

Take pride in what you do not how you look because ultimately this is what people around you will remember. If you want to redefine love in your life, you must first let go of past experiences and heartache. All of us tend to carry around fragments of past failed relationships and let them weigh us down.

We have all been hurt and let down, but we cannot hand our future to these feelings. We need to learn to forgive, let go and move on. You are not here to race, so stop competing and comparing yourself to others. Who cares if the neighbor is making huge cash and having the perfect relationship? Nobody wants a partner who will choose them for their bank account, but for who they are.

What you should do is enjoy life and let it develop at its own pace. Surround yourself with great people because the love and support of like-minded friends are so valuable. Build yourself an intelligent, sharp, bright and beautiful cast of true friends and be happy with this great achievement. It is not only about how you look, but how you feel.


Sit in the sun, read a book, drink a freshly made juice, do some yoga. Let yourself be that relaxed and glowing person just for a while. One of the best things you can experience is getting lost on your own in a foreign country. It is so amazingly empowering. Save some money and get yourself a ticket to somewhere you have never been before. Travel to a place you can be without deadlines, phone ringing and office problems.

Fromm defended these opinions also in interview with Mike Wallace when he states: But the question is that one cannot fall in love, really; one has to be in love. And that means that loving becomes, and the ability to love, becomes one of the most important things in life. The Art of Loving argues that the active character of true love involves four basic elements: Each of these is difficult to define and can differ markedly depending on the people involved and their circumstances.

Seen in these terms, love is hard work, but it is also the most rewarding kind of work. One of the book's concepts is self-love. According to Fromm, loving oneself is quite different from arrogance, conceit or egocentrism. Loving oneself means caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself e. In order to be able to truly love another person, one needs first to love oneself in this way.

The current belief is that a couple should be a well-assorted team, sexually and functionally, working towards a common aim.

The Art of Self-Care — Aspen Roots Collective, PLLC

This is in contrast with Fromm's description of true love and intimacy, which involves willful commitment directed toward a single unique individual. One cannot truly love another person if one does not love all of mankind including oneself. The book includes explorations of the theories of brotherly love , motherly and fatherly love, erotic love , self-love, and the love of God pp. To be able to fully comprehend the ideas illustrated in Fromm's book, one must understand the concept of paradoxical thought, or the ability to reconcile opposing principles in one same instance.

Fromm himself explains paradoxical thought in the chapters dedicated to the love of God and erotic love.

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Fromm begins the last chapter "The Practice of Love" saying: